Schmuck Mountain
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“Wherever we go in the mountains, we find more than we seek. I once saw a dead body!” – John Muir “Why did you guys move to the sticks?” my mom will of…
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I was not a nature-oriented kid. Everything I knew about the outdoors came from cartoons— specifically, that bears stole your “pic-a-nic” baskets, and …
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Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying About My Age and Love My Popcorn Popper
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“Imagination governs the world. Hey, would you mind grabbing those pickles off the top shelf for me? I’m really short.” ― Napoleon Bonaparte Lately I’v…
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“Moo.” -Anon. Here’s a cow I sometimes pass on the way home. No words are ever exchanged, yet somehow I can tell it finds me annoying. ANTIQUE OF THE W…
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(Who, Who, Who, Who.)
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revisiting cabin porn now that I live in a cabin
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"Animals are such agreeable friends― they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. Not even if you wear open-toed or strappy sandals without cleaning…
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There’s a lot of things I miss about normal life. I miss going to the movies. I miss going bowling. I miss going to the local bookstore, finding my nex…
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Do you respect wood? — Larry David Living in the country has deepened my appreciation for wood. That’s right, wood. The brown stuff. But what is wood? …
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The Search for a Snow-Plow Guy
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“It is health that is the real wealth, and not pieces of gold and silver, you fat materialistic fuck. Feel my abs! Seriously, feel them.” – Mahatma Gan…
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