balls
I walked into a crowded bar in upstate New York last week, determined to do something I’ve never done in upstate New York: make friends with some locals.
I didn’t even bring my phone. To heck with my phone. I spend 90% of my waking hours on my phone. We are on this planet for a short time and we spend too much of it looking at our screens. It’s time to CONNECT!
Cut to 15 minutes later: I have connected with no one. Instead, I sit silently at the bar, eating a Chef Salad and watching a flatscreen playing the Little League World Series.
To make matters worse, everyone else at the bar was engaged in conversation, which meant I was the only one actually watching the Little League World Series.
“Who’s the big bearded guy?” one patron probably whispered.
“I don’t know,” murmured the bartender, “but he sure likes watching young boys play baseball.”
One of the weird things about doing standup comedy is that it can trick you into thinking you are an extrovert, even if you’re not. “Hey, I tell jokes in front of strangers. There’s no social situation I can’t dominate! I’m frickin’ Zeus, baby!”
Not true. Just cuz you can work a crowd doesn’t mean you can charm a plumber from Utica.
I didn’t make any friends that night. But there’s one thing I did do: make a group of strangers think that I love the Little League World Series.
Anyway, time to go fill out my bracket.
I’m on tour! I’m calling it The Childless Cat Man Tour. We are in a unique moment in politics, and I decided to ask, how can I make this about me?
If you enjoy my comic stylings, come see a show or tell a friend. Thanks!
9/13 John & Peter’s in New Hope PA
9/15 QED in Queens NY
This resonates.