Five Things YOU Didn't Know About Wood
Do you respect wood?
— Larry David
Living in the country has deepened my appreciation for wood. That’s right, wood. The brown stuff.
But what is wood? What is are the woodchucks are chucking? What are the woodpeckers pecking? What are the Woody Harrelsons harrelson-ing?
According to Wikipedia, wood is a “porous and fibrous structural tissue found in the stems and roots of trees and other woody plants.” Yep, wood is a thing found in woody plants. Wow, thanks a lot Wikipedia. I briefly considered donating $1.99 to you for this?!
We use wood every day. Cutting boards. Coasters. Pan flutes. Without wood, what would Monica and Ross use to stir their coffees at Central Perk? A plastic stirrer?! OK, sure, I guess that would work.
Now that I live in a cabin with a firewood stove, my life involves carrying a lot of wood. Way more than I carried in the city. I’d even go so far as to say that my rate of wood-carrying has risen 100%.
The point is: I carry a lot of wood. Move over Carrie Underwood, it’s me, Carrie Lotsawood!
Do you ever think about wood?
Well? DO YOU? Go ahead. Think about it. I’ll wait.
Great. Now here are some facts about wood.
Wood is made up of a combination of cells both dead and living. So if you’ve ever worn clogs, there’s blood on your hands!
Softwoods are not always softer than hardwoods. You heard me! I’ll give you a moment to mop up your brains.
The world’s blackest wood is ebony, the world’s whitest wood is holly, and the world’s whitest WOMAN is probably named Karen. Am I right?
Wood killed Kennedy.
A “Dwarf Dogwood” tree can start out as small as 8 foot, which is just 6 inches taller than famed basketball star Yao Ming!
Next time you see a piece of wood, take a moment to appreciate it. Pick it up. Examine it. And if you don’t have Covid, smell it. You’ll be glad you did!
ANTIQUE OF THE WIQUE
There’s a lot of antiques stores in upstate New York. You’ll find a new discovery here every week!
This week’s antique is……..
Dynamite-themed Barware!
Conversation piece or bomb threat? Let us know in the comments!